Fic by @shanastoryteller; podfic by @flowerparrish
Harry Potter: Draco/Harry
Rated: T | No Warnings | Current Length: 3.5 hrs
In the middle of their second year, Draco and Harry discover they're soulmates and do their best to keep it a secret from everyone.
Their best isn't perfect.
“You know the greatest lesson of history? It’s that history is what ever the victor says it is.”
— Anthony Doerr, All the Light We Cannot See
Nicholas J Fury spent one weekend in the 90s hanging out with a cool lesbian and then spent the next twenty years trying and failing to find another superhero with her general degree of competence or emotional maturity
You know he was hoping for Roger’s to be that but then capcicle woke up and poor Fury realized Captain goddamn America was a 20-something yr old disaster bi, who, despite being a literal block if ice for 70 fucking years, doesnt know the definition of “Chill”
Fury, after finding Steve: Ah yes
Finally a mature and sensible hero, not like Stark
Steve: GONNA JUMP OUT OF A PLANE
AND FIST FIGHT A GOD
WITH A MAGIC HAMMER
Fury: god damn it
In reference to this post, I do legitimately wonder what exactly Nick Fury’s expectations of Steve were.
Assuming his two primary sources for Steve Rogers Anecdotes were Howard and Peggy (and I think they were), there’s no way he would have gotten anything approaching an accurate account for who Steve was as a person.
I honestly don’t think Howard knew Steve well. All his reminiscences are going to be fundamentally colored by the fact that, despite the epiphany he comes to in the S1 finale of Agent Carter (he says something like, ‘he was good before I got my hands on him, wasn’t he?’), Steve’s successes as Captain America are in part his successes because he helped make Captain America. So all the stories Howard could tell Fury (and, sorry about your horrible childhood, Tony) are going to portray Steve in a very specific way, turning him into the ultimate war hero, the ultimate super solider, the ultimate weapon that Howard helped create.
I doubt Peggy’s telling a lot of truths either but for different reasons. Or, well. Peggy doesn’t lie about Steve, but there are certain things she doesn’t say about Steve. Because everyone knows and mourns Captain America, but she’s one of a small handful of people who actually mourn Steve Rogers. There are things about him she keeps private and safe for herself.
Like the fondue story? I am positive that never made it into the global Captain America narrative. I also don’t think it’s a story Tony or Sharon ever heard. Howard doesn’t tell it because it’s not a Cap Story, it’s a Steve Story, and Howard’s far more interested in the former than the latter. Peggy also doesn’t tell it because it’s a Steve Story, and the world isn’t owed any more of Steve Rogers than they already have. They can keep Captain America, but Steve is hers.
But I honestly believe that if Nick got half a shot of whiskey in Colonel Phillips, he would spend literal hours dragging Steve Rogers through the mud.
“Rogers? Biggest pain in my ass that ever lived, and that’s before Stark and Erskine got their god damn hands on him. I’ve had a hemorrhoid or two tried to compete, but nope. It was Rogers.
“That son of a bitch probably spent six weeks AWOL altogether thinking he knew better than me, the SSR, and all the Allied powers put together. At the end of it, he’d come into my office, stand at attention, salute. Then I’d maybe get one ‘yes sir, no sir’ out of him before he started arguing with me about whatever damn fool thing he’d just done. Which, I shouldn’t have to tell anyone, is not how the god damned United States Army works. Rogers never did manage to grasp that concept.
“Don’t ask me about vehicle requisitions. I don’t even know how many cars those idiots wrapped around how many trees. I finally had to order the motor pool to stop giving him motorcycles at all. He kept throwing them at the enemy. That worked for maybe a month. He started stealing them, and I gave up.
“Once I ran into Barnes just staring at a wall looking whey-faced, terrified, and madder than a hornet. So I said, “What did that captain of yours do this time?” and he says, “He charged a fucking tank,” and I say, “Of course he did,” and he says, “Dumb bastard wasn’t even wearing his helmet,” and I say, “I don’t understand how you kept that boy alive long enough to con his way into the army in the first place,” and Barnes says, “You’ve got no god-damned idea, sir, you really don’t.”
“You know Carter shot at him once? I’ve never envied another human being so much in my whole life.
“Steve Rogers gave me most every grey hair on my head, don’t you let her tell you any different. I had a full head of thick black hair in 1943; by ‘44 I looked like someone dropped a pound of drywall on top of me. I aged a year for every hour I spent in Rogers’s company. When I die, if the coroner doesn’t list my cause of death as Steven Grant Rogers, it’ll be god damned perjurous.
“I could have court-martialed that jackass on at least 16 separate occasions, and we wouldn’t have won the war without him. God rest the son of a bitch.”
….so we have to assume that Fury never talked to Phillips I guess.
BUT OH GOD DO I WISH HE HAD
“Shoulder length hair is acceptable for a female, but not a male.
It must be off the collar when standing straight, off the top of the ears, and above the eyes.
Sideburns may not extend below the bottom of the earlobe, mustaches may not extend below the lip, or the corners of the mouth. Beards, goatees, or any hair below the mouth is not allowed.”
- FBI hair regulation
Some of y'all have never made peace with the fact that Dean is just not very punk rock at heart. All his punk rockness is out of necessity, not desire. He CAN eat campfire-roasted lizard and sleep four hours a night in a car and fight for his life. But he LIKES long hot showers with good water pressure and cucumber water. He likes shopping at the farmer's market for multiple different kinds of tomatoes and being on a first name basis with the lady at the post office. He loves a soft comfy house robe and a three-piece 1920s suit. He chose a weapon with a mother-of-pearl grip and floral engravings. This man is absolutely growing out his hair and wearing soft turtlenecks and peacoats the first chance he gets. Sorry about it.
flowerparrish
Fic by @shanastoryteller; podfic by @flowerparrish
Harry Potter: Draco/Harry
Rated: T | No Warnings | Current Length: 3.5 hrs
In the middle of their second year, Draco and Harry discover they’re soulmates and do their best to keep it a secret from everyone.
Their best isn’t perfect.
